Friday, January 21News That Matters

Tag: Divorce, Separations and Annulments

April Ashley, London Socialite and Transgender Pioneer, Dies at 86

LifeStyle
Back in Liverpool, she checked herself into a mental hospital, where she begged the doctors to “make me more manly,” she wrote in a first-person account for News of the World in 1961. They treated her with drugs and electroshock therapy. “It lasted a year,” she recalled, “and at the end of the day they told me it was no use.”Unwelcome at home, she moved to London, where she started dressing as a woman. During a vacation in France, she met a group of drag performers, who got her a job dancing at Le Carrousel, a famed Paris nightclub.By then Ms. Ashley was taking estrogen and saving for her transition surgery. In 1960, with a reference letter from Coccinelle, a Carrousel dancer and the first known French person to transition, she traveled to Casablanca, Morocco. There she met Dr. Georges Bur...
The Paradox of Alimony for Men

The Paradox of Alimony for Men

LifeStyle
“The law is written to be gender neutral and blind, but that it isn’t always the case,” said Mr. Mosberg, speaking on his own behalf. “More women are now working in prestigious positions, and more husbands are staying home with the kids, but men receiving support is still the exception rather than the rule.” Judges often scrutinize men more harshly during their bid for support, reflecting the bias that assumes men are, or should be, breadwinners, said Brendan Hammer, a Chicago-based lawyer. “Judges may also ask for a job diary, to prove that the husband is trying to earn what he did formerly, or even a living wage,” he said.Elizabeth Lindsey, the president of the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers, said in her experience, judges often awarded men less support for shorter durations...
How to Prepare for the Holidays After a Divorce

How to Prepare for the Holidays After a Divorce

LifeStyle
After Halloween comes Thanksgiving, and then Hanukkah and Christmas: All days just asking for pain when your family is going through an upheaval. Even MLK weekend had me distraught one year. (I was convinced that, unlike us, all the intact families had amazing plans. Possible but, I now realize, unlikely.)Halloween 2021The spooky season is upon us. Make the most of Halloween, safely, with some help from The Times.Holidays often bring joy, but they are also reminders of who and what we have lost. During rough years, they tell us that the picture we had of our lives is no longer looking how we imagined it. Days intended for family and friends, they can also make us feel alone. And yet, ironically, we’re not alone in this. Particularly during a pandemic and a health crisis that has affec...
We Wanted to Split Up. OkCupid Had Other Ideas.

We Wanted to Split Up. OkCupid Had Other Ideas.

LifeStyle
Four years into our marriage, my husband found me on OkCupid.I had only joined the site to check out his profile. He had joined to find someone else.A friend helped me with the long sign-up process after we returned to my place from our weekly two-ounce glass of moscato at the Mission Inn wine bar. Neither of us were really drinkers — I was new to alcohol in my mid-40s — and this was as much as we would allow ourselves, this tiny swig of sweetness.“What name should I use?” I said, curled on my couch as my friend sat at my desk with my laptop, feeling loose and pleasantly tired from the wine. “I definitely don’t want to use my own.”“How about Glittergirl?” she said. She was a big fan of glitter; I often wound up with sparkles on my skin and hair after I hugged her. I wasn’t into glitter or ...
When to Collect Social Security: Why You Should Wait

When to Collect Social Security: Why You Should Wait

Business
Withheld benefits are not lost forever, however. At the beneficiary’s full retirement age, Social Security will adjust the monthly benefit upward to account for the withheld benefits. The beneficiary will continue to receive the higher payment even after she recoups the withheld benefits, which could take 12 years.This is how it works: Say a person is eligible for a benefit of $24,000 a year at full retirement age but claims at 62 and gets a reduced benefit of $16,800. If the beneficiary earns $25,000, the government will withhold $3,020 for the year, which is half of the earnings above the limit. At full retirement age, the beneficiary will continue to receive the reduced benefit of $16,800 but eventually will get the withheld money back in the former of a higher benefit.James Blair, the ...
Who Gets the L.L.C.? Inside a Silicon Valley Billionaire’s Divorce.

Who Gets the L.L.C.? Inside a Silicon Valley Billionaire’s Divorce.

Technology
He was a research assistant at Stanford’s computer science department, which made him the resident programmer for many doctorate students, when he met Mr. Page, a Ph.D. candidate. He rewrote the code for a slow web crawler that Mr. Page had created to understand the relationship between links on different websites. He also worked with Mr. Brin to build a search engine, which eventually became Google.When Mr. Page and Mr. Brin founded Google in 1998, Mr. Hassan bought 160,000 shares for $800. When Google went public in 2004, the shares were worth more than $200 million. The shares, now in Google’s parent company, Alphabet, would be valued at more than $13 billion today.While Mr. Hassan never worked for Google, he was one of the founders of a company called eGroups, which was sold to Yahoo i...
Hay quienes remodelan casas. Yo remodelo hombres

Hay quienes remodelan casas. Yo remodelo hombres

LifeStyle
Rich y yo tuvimos más rupturas después de eso. Empecé a querer algo más, pero nuestras vidas eran incompatibles, así que terminamos y seguimos siendo amigos. Luego acepté un trabajo a 112 kilómetros de distancia, así que me pareció bien que tuviéramos sexo “solo una vez más” antes de que me mudara peroluego resultó que no me iba a mudar tan lejos, así que me pareció bien que viniera a visitarme de vez en cuando.Luego las visitas fueron tan agradables que se convirtieron en regulares, y después pasamos cuatro días juntos mientras mi hijo estaba en casa de su padre durante las vacaciones de Acción de Gracias y, durante esa visita, cuando yo empezaba a tener un resfriado, Rich paseó a mi perro por mí, me trajo té y cocinó para mí.De repente, me senté en la mesa de mi cocina mientras él hacía ...
Some People Flip Real Estate. I Flip Men.

Some People Flip Real Estate. I Flip Men.

LifeStyle
And they arrived. In January last year, just before the pandemic, he had a crisis of faith and broke up with me. This time, it lasted. Neither of us entered this relationship thinking it would be forever, but still I was devastated.There is a peculiar kind of bittersweetness to living with a broken heart in winter, even more so while socially distancing alone with my son. I kept expecting to wake up and not miss Rich, but each morning was a disappointment.It turned out that he missed me too, so in July, while my son was at his father’s place for a long summer stretch, we got back together, and we were honest with each other — that we didn’t know where our lives were going, but we could be committed to each other while holding space for that unknowing.I have never existed well in a space of...
They Grew Apart, Then Became Close Again

They Grew Apart, Then Became Close Again

LifeStyle
In Unhitched, couples tell the stories of their relationships, from romance to vows to divorce to life afterward.Trent and Denise Montagu of Colorado divorced after 22 years of marriage, when substance abuse and old patterns created a wedge between them too large to bridge.Date of marriage July 8, 1995Date of divorce August 2017Age when married Both 26Age now 52Occupations Mr. Montagu is a business analyst for a large computer company. Ms. Montagu, formally a social worker, is now a personal trainer and group exercise instructor.Children A son, 23, and two daughters, 21, 17 Where did they grow up?He, in Buffalo, the oldest of four boys. His parents divorced when he was 9 and both remarried successfully, yet his takeaway was to never get divorced himself. An only child, she was born in Augs...
8 Breakup Gifts That Soothe and Celebrate

8 Breakup Gifts That Soothe and Celebrate

LifeStyle
Breakups can generate a range of emotions, from devastation to liberation, and everything in between. They are also behind a growing industry.Products include clothing, accessories, books, décor and even desserts. According to the e-commerce platform Etsy, there are more than 17,700 search results for divorce or breakup gifts on the site; such searches jumped 61 percent in the last three months from the same period a year ago.Weeding through an abundance of gift choices can be overwhelming. If you or someone you know has experienced a recent split (for better or worse), here are some items that honor the end of relationships and facilitate closure.‘Old Flame’ CandleOn its label, Anecdote Candles Old Flame claims to smell like bad mistakes and repeat offenders. In reality, the santal scent ...