Sunday, October 17News That Matters

Tag: Friendship

Now Going Viral: Meeting Online Friends in Real Life

Now Going Viral: Meeting Online Friends in Real Life

Technology
Marissa Meizz, 23, was out to dinner with a friend in the East Village in mid-May when her phone started buzzing. She tried to silence it, but the texts kept coming. They all wanted to know: Had she seen the TikTok video?She clicked the link and a young man appeared onscreen. “If your name’s Marissa,” he said, “please listen up.” He said he had just overheard some of her friends say they were deliberately choosing to hold a birthday party when she was out of town that weekend. “You need to know,” he said. “TikTok, help me find Marissa.”Ms. Meizz’s heart sank. After getting in touch with the man who posted the video, which amassed more than 14 million views, she confirmed that she was the Marissa in question and that it was her friends who had conspired to exclude her from their party.Her f...
Pining for the Intimacy of Pandemic Pods

Pining for the Intimacy of Pandemic Pods

LifeStyle
It was the kind of raucous night out that Reece Clark, 32, a lawyer who lives in Olathe, Kan., had been dreaming about during the dark days of 2020: a boisterous group of friends and colleagues packed into a tiny karaoke room, with music and laughter ricocheting off the walls.But even while enjoying this long-overdue party a few weeks ago, Mr. Clark felt a strange longing: nostalgia for lockdown; or more precisely, longing for the intimacy of his pandemic pod.For seemingly endless months last year, his social bubble, which also consisted of his wife, Katelyn Clark, 34, and another couple, did everything together — game nights, UberEats banquets, even a road trip through the Southwest.As everyone started to drift back to their regular lives, Mr. Clark felt an absence.“How often as an adult ...
Rediscovering the Joys of Travel on the Big Island of Hawaii

Rediscovering the Joys of Travel on the Big Island of Hawaii

Travel
It’s a sun-spackled morning at Hapuna Beach, like most mornings on the Kohala Coast of the Big Island of Hawaii. A turtle the size of our coffee table back home in California surfaces halfway through my swim. It proceeds to stay close by, like an old friend. I laugh, elated — but then a complicated upwelling of emotion follows.Over the past year and a half, I’d almost convinced myself that I was OK with missing cherished faces and places, that I’d fully committed to being a hermit for humanity. Here, at the beginning of a weeklong visit for a pandemic-delayed wedding in early July, I was returning to travel in a different world, in which many people have lost loved ones, jobs and so much else. Even the familiar things felt strange. Airports. Crowds. My extended, energetic clan of in-laws; ...
Love Letter: Finding Unconditional Love in a Plush World

Love Letter: Finding Unconditional Love in a Plush World

LifeStyle
Who can resist a stuffed animal? They’re warm, cuddly, soft objects designed for comfort. While plush toys have been known to soothe a crying baby or bring joy to a curious toddler, many adults have found relief in them, too.The writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, Sandip Roy, stumbled upon the “plushie” community after gifting his boyfriend a stuffed Chewbacca, which they named Chewie. Soon the couple began posing him in front of famous sites during their travels, which led them to start an Instagram account dedicated to Chewie’s travels. However, once the pandemic hit and travel bans were imposed, Chewie became much more than a fun prop — he became a friend.[Like this newsletter? Sign up to receive it in your inbox.]
Using Apps to Find Friends After Quarantine

Using Apps to Find Friends After Quarantine

Technology
Dominique Williamson, 23, never had trouble making friends. “I have never been in a position where I didn’t have any girlfriends, to hang out with at least,” she said.But Ms. Williamson, who is a vegan chef and sells cookbooks, moved to Atlanta from New York City just before the pandemic. When things were still open, she would dine alone and introduce herself to anyone else sitting alone at the bar.But once Covid-19 hit, that option dried up. The few friends she had from growing up in Atlanta all moved away for jobs, graduate school or because of the pandemic. “I am a creative. I work from home, how do I make friends?” she said.For most of last year, no one was doing anything fun. But now that cities are reopening and vaccines are widespread, she wanted to reclaim a social life. So three w...
So You Want to End the Conversation?

So You Want to End the Conversation?

Technology
With vaccination spreading across the United States, social life has begun to bend toward a semblance of normalcy: dinner parties, restaurants, spontaneous encounters with strangers, friends and colleagues on the street or in the office. It’s exciting but also slightly nerve-racking.“I think there will be a period of heightened anxiety as we meet people face-to-face again,” Adam Mastroianni, a fifth-year Ph.D. student in psychology at Harvard, told me (over the phone). “I’ve heard this from a lot of my friends, that we're worried: Have we forgotten how to be with other people?”I’d called Mr. Mastroianni for some help in rediscovering this ancient calculus. In March, he and his colleagues Daniel Gilbert, Gus Cooney and Timothy Wilson published a paper in the Proceedings of the National Acad...
Love Letter: The Benefits of Childhood Friends

Love Letter: The Benefits of Childhood Friends

LifeStyle
We all remember our first childhood friend. The one you were always excited to see. The one who made every play date feel like an adventure. And most important, the one who accepted you completely, quirks and all.For Pardis Parker, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, it was the misadventures and seemingly insignificant moments that made his childhood best friend (and neighbor) a safe haven where he felt truly accepted.The pandemic has taught us many things, including that less is more — especially when it comes to weddings. With the surge in micro weddings and elopements, Vegas-style wedding chapels have been popping up in New York. The Sweet Hearts chapel is the latest small wedding space to land in Brooklyn; it offers couples speedy nuptials and Instagrammable moments at an affo...
Love Letter: Befriending the UPS Man Kept Her Sane

Love Letter: Befriending the UPS Man Kept Her Sane

LifeStyle
Some have found that making new friends during the pandemic is as easy as opening the front door.Danielle Festino, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, felt trapped in her studio apartment in the early days of self-isolation. As she shifted from a robust social life to days without human interaction, her UPS delivery man (and her countless online orders) became her lifeline. Soon she began to look forward to their conversations (with him standing masked at the edge of her porch, and her in the doorway) more than the packages being delivered. Over time, they forged a meaningful friendship that transcended her doorstep.The connection between Sarah Lenz and Stephen Paskey was instant when they first connected on OkCupid in March 2020. However, the world had shut down by then, and meet...
Love Letter: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez Call It Quits for Real

Love Letter: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez Call It Quits for Real

LifeStyle
By Charanna AlexanderSpring cleaning season is here. And, for some, that doesn’t only apply to cluttered closets: Sometimes relationships get purged, too. (Consider it “uncuffing season”!)After four years of dating, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez confirmed on Thursday that they’ve called off their engagement. Both shared in a joint statement that they “are better as friends and look forward to remaining so.”Myra Farooqi, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, had done all she could to avoid the potential heartache of falling in love with someone outside of her Muslim faith. She had gone as far as setting the filters on Dil Mil, a dating app for South Asians, to exclude all non-Muslim and non-Pakistani men. But somehow a Hindu Indian-American man made it through. And, just like she...
Last Summer, Luca Guadagnino Found Solace With Friends

Last Summer, Luca Guadagnino Found Solace With Friends

Travel
From left: LUCA GUADAGNINO, filmmaker, 49; ALESSIO BOLZONI, photographer, 41; GIUPPY D’AURA, writer and fashion history lecturer, 36; FERNANDA PÉREZ, makeup artist, 51; and FRIDA RUGGIERI, student, 13. Photographed at the Quintocanto Hotel & Spa in Palermo, Italy, on Aug. 28, 2020. Friends Who Summer Together In an unusual season, a director and some of his closest collaborators came together on the Sicilian coast. From left: LUCA GUADAGNINO, filmmaker, 49; ALESSIO BOLZONI, photographer, 41; GIUPPY D’AURA, writer and fashion history lecturer, 36; FERNANDA PÉREZ, makeup artist, 51; and FRIDA RUGGIERI, student, 13. Photographed at the Quintocanto Hotel & Spa in Palermo, Italy, on Aug. 28, 2020. Interviews by Noor Brara Photograph by Alex Majoli