Friday, January 21News That Matters

Tag: Weddings and Engagements

Love Letter: Moving On Without Moving Out

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No matter the circumstance, divorce is hard.While seeking a gentler version of a separation, Jordana Jacobs, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, learns to respect her ex-husband’s boundaries and his new relationship while they adjust to living on two separate floors of a two-family home with their son.[Like this newsletter? Sign up to receive it in your inbox.]We want to hear from you.We want to deliver content that truly matters to you, and your feedback is helpful. Email your thoughts to loveletter@nytimes.com.

For Them, Opportunity Knocked Twice

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Darrick Lo and Adrienne Lei each felt something special about the other when they met in 2015 — and again in 2017.“I rarely go up to a random individual and try to get to know them better,” Mr. Lo said. But when he first saw Ms. Lei at the Frick Collection in New York in April 2015, he was compelled to approach her.“I remember Adrienne standing near the really beautiful atrium,” Mr. Lo recalled. “When I saw her and the scenery and her smile, I had to introduce myself. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.”She was subbing in for a co-worker during one of the museum’s Sunday Sketch events, which Mr. Lo attended. A design engineer at the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan at the time, he came to the event to de-stress after a long day of work.Ms. Lei also found him attract...
Sylvia Weinstock, the ‘da Vinci of Wedding Cakes,’ Dies at 91

Sylvia Weinstock, the ‘da Vinci of Wedding Cakes,’ Dies at 91

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Sylvia Silver was born on Jan. 28, 1930, in the Bronx and grew up in Brooklyn, where her father, Samuel Silver, and her mother, Anna (Benblatt) Silver, owned a bakery and later a liquor store. The family lived above the bakery, an arrangement that suited Sylvia, who would later live above her own cake business.When she was 17, she was with friends at Rockaway Beach on the Fourth of July when she walked up to a group of young men and asked if any of them would go swimming with her. Benjamin Weinstock, a student at Queens College, stepped forward.They were married in 1949 and later moved to Massapequa, on Long Island, where she taught elementary school and he practiced law while they raised three daughters.Mrs. Weinstock earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology at Hunter College in 1951 and ...
8 Wedding Gifts Chefs Love to Give

8 Wedding Gifts Chefs Love to Give

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For many couples, a shared love of eating and drinking is what bonds them together. Whether they prefer cooking at home, dining out or enjoying wine with friends, there are gifts to satisfy every epicurean taste.The eight ideas below, recommended by four chefs from across the country, go beyond standard registry staples like mixing bowls and dinnerware sets.Some of the more unique options combine activities with food or drink, offering an even more memorable culinary experience.Stephanie IzardMs. Izard is an owner and the executive chef of six restaurants, including Girl & the Goat in Chicago and Los Angeles.Darnell FergusonMr. Ferguson is the chef and founder of SuperChefs in Louisville, Ky.
How to Respond to the ‘When Are You Getting Married?’ Question

How to Respond to the ‘When Are You Getting Married?’ Question

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Avoid focusing on a timeline.If you are considering marriage sometime down the road, discussing any future dates with prodding family members should mostly be avoided. “​​The ‘right time’ is more of an abstract concept, and it’s more difficult for families to understand,” Dr. Hertlein said. “The family will focus on ways they can help you accelerate the timeline, making it more difficult for the couple to resist their meddling.”So instead of assuaging marriage-minded family members with a possible timeline, simply share that marriage is an ongoing discussion in your relationship. Irina Firstein, a therapist practicing in Manhattan, said couples can tell people that they’re figuring it out on their own, and would appreciate it if no one asked them questions because it just “puts the pressur...

Love Letter: Breaking Up With Mr. Right

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When Jessica Slice, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, first started dating David, a man who had embraced her and her disability, she began to feel suffocated by his thoughtful gestures and nurturing nature. But when she ended things, she became filled with more doubt about her decision with each passing day.[Like this newsletter? Sign up to receive it in your inbox.]We want to hear from you.We want to deliver content that truly matters to you and your feedback is helpful. Email your thoughts to loveletter@nytimes.com.
Anticipating a Deed, They Said ‘I Do’

Anticipating a Deed, They Said ‘I Do’

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When Peter Vidani and Jennifer Pierce attended an open house in September for a townhouse in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, a few blocks east of Fort Greene Park, Mr. Vidani felt like the couple — who had relocated from California at the beginning of the year — had found their dream home.Ms. Pierce, though, said she “needed a little more time to say, ‘Yes, let’s go for it.’”She came around soon enough: six days after first seeing it, they put in an offer. Then came a bidding war, which they lost.“We had to tell ourselves it wasn’t meant to be,” Mr. Vidani said.But when the sellers’ listing agent later returned to the couple’s listing agent with an update that the other deal had fallen through, “it was hard to not think in a romantic way that it was meant to be,” he said. They put in another offer...
Taking Life One Adventure at a Time

Taking Life One Adventure at a Time

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Benjamin Richard Koller Lowell was hoping to impress Dr. William Douglas Winkelman on their second date, in October 2013. The couple had matched on a dating app about a month earlier, and Mr. Lowell, who grew up in San Francisco, wanted to show Dr. Winkelman, who had recently moved to the city, around the area.He had planned to take Dr. Winkelman on a hike on Angel Island, in San Francisco Bay. But when Mr. Lowell picked Dr. Winkelman up to take him to the ferry that would bring them to the island, he had a moment of panic. Dr. Winkelman had shown up in boat shoes and a button-down shirt.“I clearly did not communicate what this date was going to be correctly,” said Mr. Lowell, 33. “But he went for it.”Embracing the unknown and taking risks would grow to become defining themes of their rela...

Her Persistence Paid Off

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Four years ago, Barbara Delgado received a text message from Giovanni Rivera asking who she was.“I was partying like a crazy person and had so many numbers I didn’t know who she was,” said Mr. Rivera, 40, who at the time was separated from his first wife and enjoying the bachelor life. “I met a lot of people because I didn’t want to be alone.”“I didn’t remember meeting him either,” Ms. Delgado, 33, added. In the days after, the two talked on the phone several times before agreeing to meet the following week. “I told her my philosophy of life and discovered she was a great listener,” Mr. Rivera said.Months before they began talking, Mr. Rivera in February 2017 was suspended without pay from his position as a Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police officer, leaving him with more tim...
They (Kind of) Have His Father to Thank for a First Date

They (Kind of) Have His Father to Thank for a First Date

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For his first date with Elizabeth Comer, Dr. Denrick Kimathi Cooper Jr. had to ask his dad for a favor.“Unfortunately, I was broke, and had to ask my father for $20 for my first date with Liz,” he said.Dr. Cooper, 34, who was born in New York City and goes by his African middle name Kimathi, first connected with Ms. Comer when they matched on the dating app Tinder on June 24, 2014. A graduate of Princeton, he had recently completed medical school at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland and returned to the city to start a residency in emergency medicine at Mount Sinai Morningside and Mount Sinai West hospitals in Manhattan.Ms. Comer, 34, a North Carolina native, graduated from North Carolina State University and moved to Manhattan at about the same time to work at the New York offic...