Sunday, November 28News That Matters

Tag: your-feed-selfcare

It Really Would Help if People Learned to Email

It Really Would Help if People Learned to Email

LifeStyle
Too Much OversharingI have a co-worker I have gotten relatively close with over the past two years. For a year, I was her direct manager, though she has since transitioned to another department. We’ve shared somewhat personal details about our lives. While I prefer to handle issues like these outside of work, I was happy to act as a sounding board, as it felt like I was one of her only sources of support. Recently, she’s had such a difficult time that she took a short sabbatical. She came to me first because she needed help navigating the situation, which is fine, but now I know quite a lot about her medical history and mental state and she continues to come to me with regular updates, even when I encourage her to seek out additional help. I’ve had to escalate some serious concerns about h...
What to Expect at Work When You’re Expecting

What to Expect at Work When You’re Expecting

LifeStyle
Once an employee becomes a parent, there is little workplace support for child care issues. Many employers don’t have lactation rooms, nor do they offer the scheduling flexibility so many parents very much need. What should be a joyful experience becomes incredibly fraught. People are forced to decide what they want more — family or career — when in a just society, this impossible choice would not be necessary.Updated Nov. 5, 2021, 1:24 p.m. ETWhen Do I Tell?I’m 13 weeks pregnant and recently started a new job. I found out after I accepted the offer. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have chosen to be at a new job while feeling sick every day, but here we are. I’ve been advised by many people to not disclose my pregnancy until my probation period is up, but at that point I’ll be giving o...

Why Is Everyone Else Quitting?

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.Making a Midwest MoveMy partner and I are considering a move to Ohio because of the lower cost of living and the opportunity to have a good work-life balance for our midlife while building for our retirement. I dearly love West Coast living, but the high cost makes it difficult. Eventually, we’d like to find local jobs in our professions, but as two butch lesbians, we have concerns about fitting into the office culture in a more conservative area. What is something you would want two midlife lesbians to know about thriving in the beautiful Midwest?— AnonymousIf you so choose, I wish you and your partner the ...

You Are Not Where You Work

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.Raising the StakesI work at a high-end grocery store chain acquired by the largest global online retailer. I’ve been feeling underwhelmed by my impact, careerwise, on the planet and on humanity. Many people I work with feel the same.Recently, I was awarded a retention bonus. A $1.50-per-hour raise was given to five people in my store as determined by my store leadership, in recognition of hard work and a positive attitude. I asked if I will ever know who the other four are and I was told no. As an unskilled high school graduate, my $21 hourly rate plus the (high-deductible) health insurance are a better pack...
Faith vs. a Full Week of Work

Faith vs. a Full Week of Work

LifeStyle
No More Mr. Fix I.T.I work at an architecture firm of about 60 employees. We have fully transitioned to producing construction and design-related documents digitally. Our work depends on this digital production, which requires the near constant maintenance of software, hardware, program licensing and servers. But the firm does not have a staff member dedicated to information technology — all of this is currently “managed” by one of the partners and the C.F.O., neither of whom have the time (or sometimes experience) to be troubleshooting and juggling miscellaneous requests from employees. Only management positions have access to administrative credentials, required for new program installation or updates. This leads to a never-ending cycle of working on outdated programs, with an outdated c...
You’re Not the Mean Lady at Work

You’re Not the Mean Lady at Work

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.Help! I Work With Covid Mary!I work in a small office where everybody is vaccinated. I have diabetes, so I am cautious about getting Covid-19. A new part-time employee was hired, and during her training, the office manager asked if she was vaccinated; she said she was not. The management team was flummoxed. They are trying to figure out if they are going to force her to wear a mask all the time. She cannot work from home until she is well trained.I’m trying to decide how to behave. Do I keep my office door closed? If she needs to speak to me, she needs to have a mask on, and I will wear one, too. I won’t go ...
You Don’t Need to Like Those Vacation Pics

You Don’t Need to Like Those Vacation Pics

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.Far Too Much FlauntingI work for a nonprofit that helps to alleviate conditions of poverty. My boss and another more senior colleague are fortunate to have been born into wealth and do not need to work. As remote work has grown over the last year, so too has their frequent sharing of stories and photos from luxurious vacations, renovations on multiple homes, and extravagant parties, which I feel expected to respond to. Like many of my colleagues, I struggle to provide for my family and the pandemic has deepened those challenges. I don’t begrudge anyone their blessings, but find my colleagues’ push to flaunt ...
The 40-Hour Work Week Is, in Fact, Life

The 40-Hour Work Week Is, in Fact, Life

LifeStyle
Daily Business BriefingUpdated Aug. 12, 2021, 4:26 p.m. ETWhen to Clap BackI am a staff member at a predominately white institution. The other week my colleague asked me to welcome a new employee to our university even though we’re working remotely and I do not work with this new person’s team. This employee is a person of color, and the colleague who asked for my help is a white woman. In the email, my colleague apologized for “singling out my identity.” Still, she thought I would be a great person to welcome the employee to the team and “spill the tea” about our university. She said maybe I could suggest a church or a place to get a haircut. A close work friend said I should’ve clapped back. I regret not speaking on the issue. I’m not a confrontational person, and I assumed this col...
It’s OK to Say No to More Work

It’s OK to Say No to More Work

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.There Is No ‘Me’ in TeamI am a freelance copy editor and proofreader with a current gig that I like a lot. My problem: This department loves team building. During a biweekly meeting, the senior director paired us off to discuss a “fun” question and reported on it via a chat forum. Because I’m listed as an optional attendee for this meeting, I’ve stopped going. I hate this kind of corporate forced togetherness.When I don’t attend these meetings, the other person assigned to me will contact me later and ask to do the discussion. I’ve agreed twice. That’s 30 minutes I spend in a nonwork discussion I do not feel...
Can’t a Person Get a Little Privacy Around Here?

Can’t a Person Get a Little Privacy Around Here?

LifeStyle
Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.Dreaming of an Office DoorI’m a communications professional interviewing for new jobs. My greatest hope for my next position is that it will not be remote and that I will be provided with a private office, or at least a substantial cubicle. I’m nervous that bringing this up during the interview process will make me seem high maintenance. But honestly, I would trade a desk and a door for a higher salary. I have been provided with my own office for most of my career. However, in my last position, I had only a chair at a long table I shared with about 10 other people. This is a common setup in Bay Area offices ...